Traditionally Nontraditional

Bill and I have spent the last two years beating to our own tune….er…you know what I mean. We don’t do things because we are “supposed” to do them. We do them because we want to and it works for us.

Our wedding is turning into a classic Bill and Tina moment….or week.

Please let me explain…

The Stingrays decided we couldn’t get married on the ice, so we then thought we would get married at the gazebo downtown where we had our first date….but that got complicated. We want to save money and have it for the baby, not spend it on getting married. We will do the whole big wedding thing when Talia is old enough to participate…so we are doing this the easiest way possible.

We went yesterday and applied for the license (which is $70 freaking bucks in South Carolina!!!) which we picked up today. Then Bill ran the paperwork up to his buddy Josh who is actually a tattoo artist, but is also a wedding officiant. Josh signed the paperwork, which is post-dated for Sunday, because that date is important to us (it is the two year anniversary of meeting). When Bill gets home, we will both sign it (I’ve been busy baking), and then Sunday when we wake up, we are married! I’m willing to bet there are less than a few people who have done it this way, if anyone. It’s probably not even allowed by the probate court, but I’m sure you won’t tell!

We have some people coming with us to Sunday’s Stingrays game, and then it’s out for Italian food. Super easy, super simple, super Tina & Bill style.

Now onto my Panettone dilemma.

Italians have a special Christmas cake (more like a fruit bread than a cake) called Panettone. It’s really old world style and traditional. My mother would always get it for my great-grandfather for Christmas because he LOVED it.

Every year since he’s been gone (10 years) I’ve gone out and bought the bread. I don’t eat it. I don’t even like it.

Last year was the first Christmas Bill and I were together. I bought a coffee flavored version of it with chocolate chips, hoping it would be better. It was eehhh. Bill claimed to like it, but most of it sat on top of the refrigerator, probably until February.

I could try making it myself (I AM a baker) but you need so many special items, it could get costly, and I’m busy baking things I know I like…but making it myself, I might be able to “fix” it.

It also wouldn’t be the same as buying it in that neat shaped box.

So what do I do? It’s a tradition for Italians, but so are many other things I make. It’s more about my great-grandfather than anything. I’m really having trouble letting go. I still wear his dog tag around my neck, next to Bill’s. I won’t even take it off on my wedding day 😉

His flag from his funeral (United States Army) sits on my dresser, along with a picture of him and my great-grandmother. It’s been hard. I still get depressed on his birthday and the day he passed away on. I’m talking uncontrollable depression. I usually take the day off from work, because working turns into crying.

I just know it’s a waste of food to buy the bread, and it’s me not letting go and moving on. I also know Talia will one day ask me why we have this tradition of buying the bread on the refrigerator every year and not eating it.

It would be sad not to buy the bread. Maybe Talia will be more like my great-grandfather and LOVE the bread. I guess I just answered my own question, and I better keep stashing it on top of the fridge with just one slice missing from Bill eating some. Maybe Talia will like the tradition…..

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