Do Not Pass Go, Please Return to First Grade

It happens every semester. It seems to alternate between professors and students. Someone posts something, sends an email, or posts on a discussion board, and I lose my $h!+.

Last semester I had a professor for psychology, who holds a Masters Degree, and sent an email misusing YOUR and YOU’RE.

I freaked out. You need to know how this works before you leave third grade, let alone, before you have a Master’s Degree bestowed upon you!!!

I know my grammar and spelling needs work. The entire reason I’m working on this Professional Writing Certificate is to improve these things. Even if your overall goal is a degree in something else completely, you need to care about the work you turn in to your professor.

An assignment for my Creative Writing class asks us to “Show instead of tell” something. The person to first respond turned in work with the following:

  • NO capitalization
  • Quotation marks only at the END of each sentence
  • Spelled college with an “a” to write “collage”… (This isn’t art class, honey)
  • I think she meant remember when she wrote “rember”
  • The use of God was lowercase…”god”
  • I believe “gauys” means “guys”
  • Food was spelled foood
  • Casserole became “casterole”
  • And of course she used “your” instead of “you’re”

This is not even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the mistakes on this 250 assignment. Yes, it was only 250 words.

I spoke with my father earlier today, and we had a frank conversation about children and technology. It blows my mind to see parents stick NEWBORN children in front of iPads and cell phones. (Go to any restaurant and look around). They know nothing but staring at a screen all day. They don’t understand proper grammar or even the English language in general.

Friends of my step-mother came over with children who were about eight or nine, and my father could not even get them to tell him how they were that day, because they sat at his kitchen table tuned into their tablets. We are RUINING our children by putting all these electronics in front of them for babysitters. Trust me when I tell you Talia will NOT be getting a tablet until she’s ready to leave for college!

Parents have become lazy and they are only ruining their children! Our future depends on these children, and they can’t even write “I’m” (this girl in my class wrote “i” or “i’m.”)

Why become a parent if you’re not going to facilitate their education? It’s not the job of the education system to raise your children!

Part of me wants to write the professor (whom I adore as a writer) and ask her just how she can accept this work in a college level class? Part of me wants to blast the student and call her out on her piss-poor excuse for homework. The rest of me is just shaking my head and wondering where the USA will be in 20 years when no one can carry on an intelligent conversation, let alone read or write a book, run a political office, or enlist in our military to protect this country.

I’m so disappointed in parenting today (or lack thereof) and can only find solace in the fact Talia will be so far advanced when measured against her peers!

Do you see this as you go through life? Do you notice electronics as babysitters? What are your thoughts on this? Maybe I’m being an @$$hole for calling people out on this, but someone has to do it!

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