From The Mouths Of Dogs

Okay, so I know the expression is “from the mouths of babes,” but hear me out…

This is Oak, our black lab:


Oak was purchased by a couple near where Bill was stationed, when he was a puppy. At 6 months old, the couple decided he was too big for them. Um, he’s a lab….and he came from a breeder, so you must have seen the parents.

Whatever. This is why people make me mad, but their loss is our gain.

Diesel (who is now 17.5 HUMAN years old) really needed a buddy, so Bill brought Oak home. I think it is why Diesel is still with us!

Oak is not the brightest but the most brilliant at the same time. Again, allow me to tell you some quick Oak stories so you understand why he is incredibly “dumb” and then I will explain how he is brilliant….despite what I had to remove from his mouth yesterday…

When Bill originally brought Oak home, he tried to train him to retrieve ducks while hunting…something Diesel was successful at doing but can no longer do. Oak wanted NOTHING to do with the whole thing and is just un-trainable. (I think, like me, he feels bad for the duck!)

Then, Bill had told me he once left a bottle of Nyquil out, which Oak drank 3/4th of the bottle of before bouncing off the walls for hours. It should have knocked him out, but only made him hyper.

Fast forward to when moved into this house 3 years ago. Bill asked me who would be the first dog to run into the new sliding glass doors. My bet was on Diesel since he’s old and has one really bad eye.


The first day in the new house, Bill is outside and I had let the dogs out in the back yard to check it out. They decided they wanted to come in. I walked out on the sun porch and closed the sliding glass door behind me (leading to the dining room). As I opened the outside slider, all three dogs fought their way into the sun room. Diesel and Baker slowed down and came to a stop….Oak not only continued running, but gained momentum…right into the interior slider. As his face smashed into the glass, his ass flew in the air and he literally took a $hi+ mid air!!!!!!

So here I am on the floor laughing and yelling for Bill. Baker and Diesel are looking like “moron” at Oak. Oak stands up, shakes it off, and waits for the door to open. Poor Bill hears yelling and comes running only to see me on the floor with a pile of p@@p and uncontrollable laughter. He can’t figure out why this is so funny!

It took me about 10 minutes to explain because I was laughing so hard. Oak did not seem phased at all, and went back to exploring the new house.

Now here is the flip side….. I have depression and I have some days where nothing I can do helps a really bad depressive episode except to sleep it off. Oak can’t retrieve a dummy duck, or see a glass door, but before I even know I’m going to have a bad depressive episode, with no training, Oak will stick to me like glue….just like a service dog. He’s had no training, and often I will notice he starts sticking to me before I know I’m about to have an episode. I blows my mind! I am truly blessed to have him in my life and I can’t stand the thought of not having him one day to help me. When I tell you he won’t leave my side, I mean he doesn’t go outside, eat, or drink, and doesn’t leave my side! It’s amazing.

All this is a testament to how amazing a dog can be, so when I heard something in the kitchen yesterday, followed by Oak running down the hall with something orange in his mouth, I was less than impressed. As you probably have read, I’ve been working on a new vegan, cruelty free line of skin care. I have worked tirelessly to be sure there is no testing on animals….well now we can’t really say that because Oak took a bar of orange sugar scrub and ATE IT!

I was able to get most of it out of his mouth, but his insides are surly squeakily clean. I then had to send a text to Bill telling him we now test on animals….not really, but you can see the humor in it.

Oak is fine, in case you’re wondering. The ingredients in the bar are fine, and as we saw with the Nyquil, nothing phases him!


Oak also loves Talia to death! He loves when she reads to him!

So what is the craziest thing your pet has ever done? What is the most amazing?

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