Life

When Your Husband Brings Home A Goat

I once woke up around 6 am and found a duck in my bathtub.

Yes, a live duck, swimming in the bathtub.

Why?

My husband had hit it with his truck on accident, and he wanted to be sure it was okay, so he brought it home.

I wasn’t happy. Eventually the duck went back to the pond and everything was fine…but today….today there was a goat.

Today my husband left to go to the VA. He got there and of course his appointment was cancelled and no one told us. He did still need to get labs done, so I expected him to get his blood taken and return….

Three hours later I had a goat in my driveway.

A live, living, breathing, $#!++ing goat.

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My husband proceeds to tell me the goat belongs to his cousin George who has a small farm next to my husband’s parents. The goat keeps getting out and my father-in-law wanted to just eat the stupid thing, because it’s always getting into the cow pasture.

So my husband decides the best thing is to bring it home.

He claims it’s temporary until George comes home and decides what to do with it, but after my husband put it in the back yard, our daughter proceeded to walk up to it and introduce herself. She said “Hi, I’m Talia!” and then continued talking to the goat and referring to it as “friend.”

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I would love to blame this one on the PTSD, or the Marine Corps…but this is all my husband and his “Redneckery” as I like to call it.

He said “welcome to country living” but I feel like we don’t need a goat in our yard to be “country….”

I digress.

Now he’s in the other room telling me we should name it “Gyro.” Um…..wrong animal!!!

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever come home to? What would you do if there was a goat in your yard? Who wants to place bets it will still be in my yard in the morning?

3 thoughts on “When Your Husband Brings Home A Goat

  1. We came home from a sushi bar once with a real live soft shell crab. I called it Little Kai. Made hubs by a hermit crab home for it and everything. Eventually had to give it away to someone who promised not to eat him. He was a very anti-social crab to be honest.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely! He’d spider-man his way up the tank every time we’d leave him alone in some desperate bid for freedom. Then if we even so much as looked at him, he’d freeze, then dive under the rocks and stay there till he was sure we were gone.

      Totally hurt my feelings. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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