Therapy is in general, a good thing…..right?
While Bill and I agreed the couples therapy might not be a great fit for us (and I haven’t bothered to reschedule the last appointment) I start my own today.
I don’t know if I want to go….but I feel like this is the only person I can talk to now….
I have to go because I’ve had this appointment literally two months and it’s just hours away from now. I can’t call and cancel now….but I don’t know if I want to sit and rehash all the crappy stuff that comes along with being a military spouse.
I also feel like, unless this therapist is a military spouse herself, she’s not going to get it.
It’s such a lonely place here…which brings me to living in Illinois.
We’ve been here a year, and while his family is nice (with the exception of a Mother’s Day incident which literally left me in tears and extremely hurt) they aren’t my “friends.”
The Mother’s Day incident isn’t something I’m really ready to talk about, but Bill drank last week, (of course he says he never will again….) upset my MIL, and she basically told us to stay away from the farm for the weekend….on Mother’s Day……you know since we moved all the way here to be close to them. Talk about heartbreak. She also sent it in the form of a text. I was shocked and probably spent three hours crying about it. I know my husband was in the wrong, but I’m dealing with his behavior every day, and being pushed away doesn’t help. They really just ignore his PTSD and don’t seem to understand.
So a new movie is out. Book Club starts some of my favorite actresses (I’m not sure how Jane Fonda still get’s roles….she stinks and she kind of ruins the all-star cast). The movie looks great, and Bill tells me to go see it. The reality is, I literally have no one here I can ask to go with me. How sad it that?
Between taking care of VA appointments/medical appointments for Bill, taking care of kids, and working, I’ve made no real friends I can just text and say “Want to see this movie?”
So instead of going by myself (I just have no interest in that), I’ll spend today working for the hockey team, and then I’ll work on my own book.
While it’s nice to work on accomplishing my own goals, it still stinks to be so far from anywhere I’ve ever called home, and not have someone I can do anything with (as far as friends). I also think it’s a little sad I’m about to go tell all this to a complete stranger at the Vet Center.
This life is so lonely. Being a military spouse is extremely hard, and it’s making for a long @$$ summer.
What are your struggles as a military spouse? If you’re not a military spouse, do you know any you can reach out to? Sometimes it might be just what they need!